Beating Insecurity

Insecurity has ruined more opportunities than any sort of failure/criticism I have ever received. I've read so many blogs and listened to speakers who talked about these massive failures in their lives that they have had to overcome and almost envied them even getting to that point. To be honest, my failures haven’t been interesting stories because they happen inside my head before I can make any action! Dealing with insecurity is especially annoying when you are musician because so many activities require stepping out and performing or writing something that could end in rejection.

This year, I have come to a point where I am just tired of letting insecurity hold me back and am wanting to do more to push through my fear. Remembering I am enough, that the God of the universe made me with a purpose, and that I don't have to perform well to be loved has been the biggest part of my personal journey getting over insecurity.

"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."- Winston Churchill

Another thing I have done is try to put myself in situations where I WILL get rejected. Putting yourself in these situations will make you realize that rejection isn’t as bad as you thought, and also might teach you how many of the opportunities you thought were impossible, are in fact possible!  I remember a tour opportunity to play with a well-recognized artist where they asked for a video of me singing and playing. While I do sing harmonies, I was not prepared AT ALL to give them a video of me playing and singing. I scrambled to get something together to turn in and let me tell you, it was not great (unless you consider pixelated, background noise-y, and couldn't actually hear my harmonies homemade video great...). Needless to say, I didn't get that opportunity, BUT it made me practice how to let failure roll off me. Here's an awesome TED talk too if you are into that sort of thing!

One of the things that has also helped me deal with insecurity is realizing how many amazing musicians get nervous even after performing hundreds of shows or releasing amazing albums. If Adele still gets nervous before shows, who knows if there is hope for me, but I think practicing so you can play through these times makes a huge difference. It's completely normal to feel anxious doing something that puts you even a little outside your comfort zone. I love this quote by Christy Wright that says,

"Being nervous doing something you don't have experience in doesn't mean you are doing something wrong, just that you are doing something new."

I love that! Embracing the fear means you are pushing the limits and going out of your comfort zone for something you believe in. 

If there is something holding you back musically, whether that's fear of what other people think, fear of rejection, or fear of not being able to create something you love, I encourage you to go do that thing right now, remembering that you have so much to offer and that many people need the music and words you are going to give them! 

Getting Over Your Songwriting Dry Spell

Even starting this blog, I am wondering how qualified I am to talk about this since I struggle with creative confidence just as much as anyone. I think it's important though to be open about the things that scare us and hear other people's thoughts so we know we are all in the same boat. 

When I was at Belmont, I took a songwriting class with about 8 other people. In the class, we had to write a song each week and share it with the rest of the class so they could help critique it and give feedback to make you a better songwriter. Growing up, I wrote songs a lot with my family (we were the annual bluegrass band every year at our church's Christmas show), but every time I stepped in that class, I got really bad imposter syndrome! Looking back, there were a lot of good songwriters in that class, so I think I was a little intimidated. When I went to write my song to share each week, I felt like I couldn't think of anything good enough. I would sit there in my dorm for what seemed like forever with my empty notebook, and any words, phrases, or melodies that came to my mind never seemed good enough. Needless to say, I wasn't proud of the songs I wrote for that class, and they didn't hold any truth to my life because I was so scared about sharing anything more personal. 

I didn't begin to get rid of this fear until I got so fed up with myself that I decided I didn't care if my songs were terrible. At least I would be doing something I enjoyed and being true to myself! I'm not sure if any of you have ever been crippled by having to make a creative piece that you got a little too in your head about, but if that has happened to you, I would love to have you share your story here as well! 

So let's all focus now on channeling our inner School-of-Rock-Jack-Black and stick it to the man of creativity! Here are some of the mindsets I adopted in order to combat my creative lulls:

1) Remember what you have to bring to the table

Sometimes it can be most intimidating to try to be creative when you are surrounded by other artists who you consider SO creative. You end up shutting down every idea you think of you before it can have a chance to shine. Remember, God made you with your own unique brain and thoughts, so you can't compare your ideas/ life experiences to anyone else's. You got your own thang goin' on and someone out there is going to connect with your music/lyrics. 

2) Take time to "free write"

This means write for a set amount of time (either words/music/melodies) without judging ANYTHING before it comes out of your brain. This sounds easy, but not judging your thoughts when everything you come up with sounds dumb is hard! It's normal to look back at your free writing and think that it sometimes sounds more like a text you might send after you've have had too many margaritas than it does a song. But once you are able to take that and start refining your ideas, you can come up with some of your most creative phrases and melodies.

3) Research your fav artist's creative processes

I love this video Jon Bellion did of his song writing process. Everyone does things differently, so don't feel like if you aren't coming up with anything you love that there's no hope for you. There are like a million other ways to to try to figure out how you work best. 

4) Remember how many other people are in the same boat

When there is a lot being expected of you creativity-wise, it can feel very isolating or like all this pressure is on you and you alone to come up with something great. But the truth is SO many people struggle with this and sometimes it takes just doing something until you feel good about your work. George, the drummer and co-songwriter for the 1975, completely fell apart before making their newest record and could only get over it when they decided to stop caring what people thought of their work. Put other people's expectations aside and write for you. 

Getting out with friends and talking about your creative dry spell can be the most healing!

5) Make a creative workspace

I will be doing a blog on this later, but for me, I cannot think well in a cluttered space. I feel like my thoughts are caving on on me! I personally put things that inspire me or encourage me on the walls of my music room so I am surrounded by good vibes!

I hope these little tips help you! I would love to hear about your creative process and what helps you in dry spells, so please share below!